My ex is trying to get my boyfriend back. How to get rid of your ex-boyfriend: instructions for elimination. My ex-wife wants my husband back, what should I do?

Question for a psychologist:

Hello. My name is Alena. I am 22 years old. Have no children. We have known this young man for 3.5 years, and we have been living with him for 7 months. I first met his friends, and then him. His name is Oleg. He took my number from his friends and we started talking and hanging out together. Then we stopped communicating because I started living with another guy Andrey, I lived with him for 2 years. Oleg constantly wrote and called me all these 2 years, but I told him not to call me anymore. And he only began to write messages in contact and on the phone. Just finding out how I was doing. And when the guy started beating me, I made up my mind and left him. Oleg helped me with housing, I began to live with him in a room that he rented, and he lived with his sister. And then Oleg and I started a relationship and we began to meet and live together. At first everything was fine, but then his girlfriends started calling him. Because of this, we quarreled with him. He reassured me and said that they were just friends. His mother also told me that he and his friends had known each other for a very long time and that they were just friends. I calmed down and we measured each other. And everything was fine.

But for the past 2 months his ex has been calling him and writing in his contacts. He and his ex-girlfriend have been separated for 2.5 years. He sometimes went to her page and tagged photos. And he notes her photos because he is interested in how she lives - that’s what he tells me.

I started asking about my feelings for her, he said that he didn’t love her and wouldn’t return to her. I believed him.

And yesterday she wrote to Oleg in contact that she was pregnant and broke up with her boyfriend and asked my boyfriend to help her pick up the crib from the store and assemble it. In general, I'm all on edge. I'm very jealous. I asked him not to meet with her. And if they do, I will leave and not disturb them. I just think that he will remember the time when they were together and a relationship will begin. And he will simply forget about me.

He said that he would not let me go and that he loved me. And if I tell him about her, he will help her out of spite. He doesn't like it when I start to blow his mind. Now I’m very nervous, I won’t survive if he lies to me and quietly goes to help her.

I love him, we feel good together, but our relationship doesn’t work out.

It seems to me that we don’t understand each other, if our relationship is like this at the beginning, what will happen next.

Psychologist Marina Aleksandrovna Wildt answers the question.

Hello, dear Alena!

I really sympathize with you in your difficult situation.

Unfortunately, I won’t be able to say exactly what really motivates your young man, since I don’t have enough information in general.

Your boyfriend owes his ex-girlfriend absolutely nothing and you understand this yourself. But there is a human component that is responsible for helping people in some situations. So, your boyfriend can simply help his ex-girlfriend, but of course not in the role of her friend, but out of old friendship and so on once or twice.

I advise you to tell your boyfriend that you don't mind him helping her with the crib once. You also want to go with him to see her. You, as a woman, can support her in her difficult situation.

If your friend’s reaction is positive and you go together, then most likely he has nothing to hide from you and he has no intention of resuming something with his ex-girlfriend. If this idea seems strange to him, then you can most likely assume that he is not being honest with you.

What conclusion you draw for yourself can be determined by your friend's reaction to your proposal.

This is where your relationship begins: long walks, pleasant words, small gifts and surprises. Idyll, and nothing more. But is it really that simple? If your chosen one has a past, then it can remind you of itself at any moment. How to understand that your man or boyfriend has not forgotten his ex?

He keeps gifts from her in a secret place

Small trinkets and beautiful things are safely hidden from prying eyes. They are only removed for a short time and only when you are not around. This behavior suggests that the guy is experiencing strong emotions when looking at these things. It is worth asking him about the reasons for keeping these items and the impressions he gets from them.

Your man is still invited to visit his ex's house

Talking to his ex-girlfriend's family is a strange moment, especially if the relationship has already fizzled out. This behavior may indicate a desire to have a backup option. But, on the other hand, it could just be a good understanding with people. Relationship experts advise discussing this issue together.

The guy mentions information about his ex nonstop

Constantly comparing the current relationship with the current one indicates that the guy is not confident in his choice. It is quite difficult to hear information about how an ex-girlfriend ran the household, made purchases, behaved in society, or achieved a promotion at work. If a guy is not sure that he can build a strong relationship, then the girl should reconsider the situation and take action.

Showing relationships

If a guy leaves notes on social networks, shows in every possible way how happy he is, but at the same time monitors his ex’s reaction, it means he cares. Constant rivalry and spying on each other’s profiles indicate the presence of feelings and the incompleteness of the situation. A new girl should take a closer look and find out who she is for a young man: a loved one or a reason to hook up with an ex-girlfriend?

Frequent communication by phone and on social networks

It happens that couples break up, but people remain friends. If the discord was painful, and the separation was accompanied by negative emotions, then the resumption of conversations on the phone or on social networks is an alarming signal. In this situation, several options for such behavior are possible: firstly, people who were in a couple have common interests and a past, they can remember it, exchange impressions, so communication resumes. Secondly, feelings for the ex-girlfriend have not faded away, she is seen as a backup option if the current relationship does not lead to anything worthwhile.

He likes photos of his ex-girlfriend on social networks

Constantly viewing your profile on a social network, liking photos, and romantic messages to your ex-girlfriend can be the cause of dissatisfaction with your current girlfriend. It’s worth mentioning this point right away and finding out the reason for the increased attention. No matter how well the relationship ends, this behavior shows that the guy still cares about her.

Negative information about your ex-girlfriend

A stream of negative information about a former flame and constant emphasizing of her shortcomings may indicate that the young man is trying to persuade himself that he made the right choice. Angels do not exist, every person has both good and bad sides. A completely negative image is a way to denigrate something that haunts you. This is definitely worth paying attention to if your past relationship lasted a long time.

All the reasons that were described above can be direct or indirect evidence of the young man’s caring attitude towards his ex-girlfriend. The best option for the couple would be to talk calmly and find out their joint plans for the future. If the guy still has feelings for his ex-girlfriend, it may be worth breaking up at the initial stages of the relationship so that it won’t hurt so much. No need to waste time. If the worries and fears were in vain, a calm conversation will show the man that his new choice was correct and there is no need to return to what has already passed.

, Comments to the guy's ex-girlfriend disabled

Boyfriend's ex-girlfriend

Hello! This situation has developed, perhaps, which I myself am aggravating... but still.
I've never asked my boyfriend about ex-girlfriends. But it so happened that our mutual friends and his mother (at different times) told me that he was dating a girl.
Some time ago I noticed that my phone was ringing in front of me - it hung up or said that they were in the wrong place. I decided to see who it was calling, it turned out that it was that girl. (You see, I looked on my mobile phone, this is of course embarrassing, but female curiosity takes over, and on the other hand, fear).
I found out that she herself was already married. But why call him so insistently? I don't know if he called back. I haven’t talked to him about this topic, and I don’t know if it’s worth it? and if we talk, then where to start?

Hello.
Here you need to look at how much this communication bothers you. If you are very worried, then it is better to talk, because the more you hide your feelings, the more problems there will be in the relationship.

Apparently, it is difficult for your boyfriend to break off the emotional connection with his ex-girlfriend. Usually, when a relationship breaks down, communication also declines. Continuation of intensive communication, even friendly, indicates that the emotional connection is not interrupted, which can have a bad effect on your relationship with him. If your boyfriend ended his relationship with this girl less than a year ago, then his feelings for her may not have fully passed yet; this is a natural, although very painful period for you.

It is important to listen to what the guy himself says about the relationship with his ex-girlfriend. If he sincerely believes that this is purely friendly communication, then everything is not so bad. If you have reason to believe that there is something more in this communication, and he hides it from you, this is worse. In any case, I don’t recommend starting scandals or setting ultimatums, but it’s worth asking him to communicate with her less often.

If a guy says that the girl calls him and sends SMS, but he doesn’t call her back, then remember that he may not pick up the phone and add her number to the blacklist. If he picks up the phone when she calls and answers the SMS, it means he himself is taking a step towards her. If a guy says that the relationship is exclusively friendly on his part, it means that he has the power to make this communication less frequent, since it bothers you. Think about what frequency of communication you can handle at first, and suggest it. Remember that no matter how much his ex-girlfriend is in love with your boyfriend, he can (although perhaps not immediately) agree with her on how often they can communicate.

If you see that your boyfriend is not making any effort to stop or reduce communication with this girl, and even more so, if he hides from you that he continues to communicate with her, then you should think about whether to continue the relationship with him, so how they can bring you a lot of pain.

Good afternoon We have been dating a guy for almost six months and during this time, I know one woman calls him. As it turns out, this is his ex. Before we started dating, I already knew a lot about him, and he told everyone that he wanted a normal family, children, so that he and his wife could do everything together. And when we started communicating... at the beginning of the relationship, he said that he was waiting for someone like me, that he couldn’t get enough of me, that he felt good with me, that I was the best, and that’s why he understood with me that he wouldn’t meet anyone better. I have already met his mother. But when I bring up the topic of calls, he says, don’t bother... you don’t have privileges yet, you’re not a wife and you’re not pregnant with me yet, they’re just communicating. I don't believe. Well, what kind of simple communication can there be if my boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend starts calling him from 9 in the morning until the end of the working day.

He is an athlete and sometimes competes. And now she tells me that she monitors his diet and regimen, wants him to perform and just sometimes supports him and he owes her. I called her a sponsor...that's what he told me, don't you dare call her that. Well, what else is it called, she’s not a coach, an ordinary woman. She’s already 47 years old, he’s 32, and I’m 28. And when I just check his reaction and say, well, let me call her, we’ll get to know each other, you’re just communicating. .he said, don’t even think about it, I should blush for you, then we’ll definitely break up.

He wants a child from me, but he wants to propose after I get pregnant, because... he says if we get married, then suddenly I won’t like something and leave, and this will definitely tie me to him. And I say, let’s live like this, why do you need everything .. He says no, if there is a child, you should be with my last name. In general, I’m not against this, but this is too frequent communication, and if he says that they are friends, why doesn’t she know about me, she would be happy for him. But he doesn’t tell her, and what kind of friendship there can be between exes is very rare, there is always some kind of subtext in communication. And such frequent calls, almost every 2-3 hours a day, but short-lived... for a minute or two. And every time we fight, he dodges it so that it turns out I’m to blame, although we have the same reason, I endure it, but then I explode.

It turns out that for the sake of the present and future with me, he is not ready to give up this communication, moreover, I know they meet 1-2 times a month. He is an ordinary guy from a simple family, he does not promise mountains of gold, because his mother is retired and already sits at home. I will have to live only with her, but now I already live alone, thanks to my parents, and I can’t imagine how everything will be. I don’t know what to do, I understand, this communication is not normal, it doesn’t suit me and how to accept it, he doesn’t explain normally What's keeping him there?

Svetlana, good afternoon!

I sympathize with you - the situation is not easy and, as I understand, is causing you enough suffering. There is no question for me in your letter, so it’s not very clear to me what you would want from me, a psychologist—advice? sympathy?

In my impressions, you described everything quite clearly - you don’t like your man’s frequent communication with another woman, you don’t want to live with his mother, and you are annoyed that the guy blames you during quarrels. I can say that this would irritate me too!

Therefore, in order to understand your further actions (based on the most common client request - “tell me what to do”), try to answer the following questions:

• what you feel for this man - name and describe the whole range of feelings, from negative to positive. What feelings arise most often? How did you feel when you wrote this letter?
• What keeps you in a relationship with him? The letter says quite a bit about what doesn’t suit you, and it’s unclear why you’re still together.
• do you hope that he will change? If so, how much longer do you plan to hope before you stop believing in it?
• are you ready to be with him if you have to live with his mom and the other woman in his life? (assuming that nothing changes, are you ready to live in the reality as it is now?)
• What will change for you if you break up? what if you stay together? will you get married? will you give birth?

It is also important to understand what is important to you in a relationship, in a man - what you are willing to put up with, where you will look for a compromise, and what you will not agree to under any circumstances. Understanding your values ​​and importances helps you navigate the situation.

Women only give second chances to those who show strength and self-confidence. And this book will help you become just that strong and confident. You can get your wife back and start a new life with her. You need to act right now After breaking up with their wife, many men panic and begin to take chaotic actions. Some shower you with gifts, some kneel and beg you to come back, some begin to threaten your wife and blackmail you with their children, and some even sit down on a glass. All these actions only worsen the situation and every minute reduce the chances of getting your wife back. However, if you follow our instructions, you will not only be able to get your wife back, but also establish a strong relationship with her. She will want you again, she will call you her man again! Therefore, do not waste your time on useless activities. Take our instructions and act on them.

My boyfriend's ex-wife wants him back

After a maximum of a month of such a relationship with your ex-wife, you will be able to see the true reason.

And this will already help you make the right decision. If you refuse your ex-wife's proposal, then this will also be the right decision.

Women's weapons To get a positive response from you, many women resort to quite effective, but still straightforward manipulations.

You should know them so as not to lose the ability to think rationally.

Think about the children. This is one of the most powerful manipulations when a woman prioritizes not your feelings and understanding, but her children.

Naturally, any man will be offended by this formulation of the question, because no one wants to be an irresponsible parent.

Attention

However, you must understand that first of all you are deciding the issue of personal happiness, and only then should you think about your children.

Terms of use

So you can get your wife back with a 100% guarantee. It really works! So what is the trick? The return of a woman is achieved by new emotions and sensations that she receives from her “old” man.

Important

But to achieve these emotions in such a difficult situation, you need to use methods that seem illogical and incorrect at first glance.

Your task will be to strictly follow these methods.

And this way you can bring your wife to the right emotions, and she will want to return to you.

Everything is very simple! Get the book I want my wife back, I'm ready to act For 540 rubles you will learn all the methods on how you can get your wife back Get the book Get the book after purchasing you will receive a link to the e-book Reviews Electron The book helped me.

I was able to show my wife that I was not as hopeless as she thought.

My boyfriend's ex-girlfriend wants to come back.

On the other hand, you have either already married another woman or are close to it, so your new woman is not indifferent to you.

This is where the difficult question arises: “Who to choose in this situation?” A simple rule applies here: “You should never deal with dubious partners when there are safe options.”

Therefore, if you are now happy in your new relationship, then you have no moral right to ruin your happiness for the dubious opportunity of reconciling with your ex-wife.

But if you are unhappy in your current relationship, then any decision you make will be correct.

“Lonely breadwinner” situation. When your ex-wife offers to restore the relationship, and you are not currently in a relationship, then your decision should be cautious and your actions should be slow.

My ex-wife wants my husband back, what should I do?

If you were the initiator of the breakup with her, then you must clearly understand and remember the reasons that served as the reason for the breakup.

You will only need to make sure that these reasons still exist, which means you should not return to the same trough.

And if everything is not so bad, then again the initiative comes from you. As a rule, if a man already has a relationship that he values, then he should not return to the one he previously abandoned himself. Of course, there are small thoughts about the past and a desire to “remember your youth,” but current relationships are still of decisive importance.

If a man is without his other half, then after a couple of meetings with his ex he feels whether there is a spark or not.

And then he himself makes the final decision. Those.

Ex-wife wants her husband back

Focus not on the terribleness of the situation, but on what possibilities there are to solve it. Only then, having carefully and soberly considered each of the options and possible consequences, make a choice. All the best in the new year, Evgenia Samatova Aliya Mirkhatovna Psychologist Kazan Hello, Renata! It seems that your boyfriend has not completely broken up with his ex-girlfriend at heart. The process of breaking up is a long thing; this internal process takes about six months. Moreover, they did not break up on his initiative; he still had unfinished internal processes.

Therefore, his throwing is understandable. Now about you. Don't throw hysterics, scandals, etc.

Understand him and support him. Treat her manifestations towards him equally.

Not to ignore, but to notice that she calls or writes to him. Be gentle and focus on what's good between you and him, not between him and his ex.
Life circumstances In my practice, there have been stories when men were forced to separate from their lovers due to some factors little dependent on them: moving, illness of a child or parent, difficult financial problems, loss of a job.

They believed that they could not offer themselves while they had unresolved problems.

Later, when their life began to return to normal, they wanted to return.

For some of these couples, things got better again. There may also be a variety of other reasons that prompted a man to leave, depending on his unique circumstances and personal characteristics.

The ex wants to come back after he left, should he accept it or drive him away?

ANSWERS OF PSYCHOLOGISTS Voskresenskaya Evgeniya Vladimirovna Psychologist Kazan Renata, hello! Yes, your boyfriend’s girlfriend wants to come back and is ready to act, but what do you want? Your situation is not as dire as you make it out to be.

You have a sufficient number of options: - spit on the MCH and, respecting yourself, find something more worthy; - win his attention despite the appearance of his former passion; - do not read his messages and trust him completely; - while continuing this relationship, start others; - concentrate on studies, not relationships; — think about increasing self-esteem by checking how it affects relationships; - etc., etc. You have many options, each of which will have its own behavior.

The main thing is not to think that the situation is hopeless. I will recommend you an exercise that will be useful in any case.

Always write at least 5 options for exiting the situation.

My ex wants my boyfriend back

Your wound is still fresh and painful, and it seems like getting your ex back is the best cure.

If you still have a feeling of emotional loss, then you want to return what was lost and regain your previous state.

But this actually means going into the past, which is impossible. And does this make sense? If some path in life led you to disappointment and pain, then why return to it again? It probably makes sense to take a different path, avoiding past mistakes.

And then the question will be whether you and your ex are on the same path.

Reasons for leaving and returning Is there a second chance with an ex who wants to come back? It depends on the motives of his action.

You may believe that he was brought back by a conscious and hard-won decision to connect his future with you, but in fact, he may be driven by completely inappropriate, unpleasant motives.

My ex-wife wants my man back

You know, sometimes life without a father is even better for children than life in a family where parents argue and fight with each other every day. Therefore, first decide for yourself, then think about the children. This is the only way you can do better for them. Manipulation of the past. The more time passes, the more bad memories are forgotten and good ones remain.

This is a common practice when a person protects himself from negative memories.

That's why women love to remind a man about the past (the good past). Then the man looks back and realizes that their relationship was wonderful, everything was great, and he is such a fool for letting such a woman go. And then he falls into the clutches of his ex. To avoid such a situation, you need to look at the current state of affairs, and not admire your past. Then your decisions will be more adequate.