Family conflicts, their causes and methods of resolution. Resolving disputes that arise between spouses What kind of disagreements can exist in the family

And they appear during marriage/divorce, consanguinity, adoption, motherhood, etc. People get married based on feelings for each other and a mutual desire to be together, but not everyone can carry this feeling through years of marriage, which leads to family disputes and disagreements. Family disagreements are the same disputes arising from family legal relations. The most common cases that occur in our society are divorce, division of property and disputes regarding the upbringing of children. In the absence of a marriage contract (due to its rarity) regulating which spouse will receive property and children in the event of a divorce, people are forced to go to court, which hears lawsuits on disputes arising from family legal relations.

Features of family relationships

Special subjective composition. Apart from blood relatives, no one participates in them; all actions within the family are aimed only at its members.

Mostly of a personal nature. The basic law of the family is the Family Code of the Russian Federation, which sets out the rights and obligations towards each other and spouses upon marriage/divorce.

Family relationships are inalienable and irreversible. A person has the right to renounce his family and not communicate with relatives, but he forever remains part of his family by blood.

Relationships arise from specific marriage, consanguinity, motherhood, adoption, etc.

Family legal relations are regulated by the norms of family law and are conditionally divided into two components.

Personal

These include the choice of a surname upon registration/divorce, the choice of a joint place of residence, and the choice of profession by each spouse. Personal family legal relations can be recorded in a marriage contract, which must be notarized. Violation of its provisions by any of the spouses serves as grounds for divorce.



Property

Here we are talking about property that spouses jointly acquired while married. A clause on its division is acceptable in a marriage contract (to facilitate the divorce procedure), but in any case, the property between the spouses will be divided in court on legal grounds.

In the absence of any of these components, the onset of family legal relations is impossible. Marriage involves living together, living together, sharing a budget and shopping. Otherwise, the court has the right to recognize the marriage as fictitious and dissolve it.

Judicial review

Conventionally, family disputes are divided into three groups, each of which has its own subtypes. The first and most common group: disputes arising from the marital relationship of the spouses.

Divorce. Solutions

First: by mutual desire of the spouses, in the absence of a dispute regarding property and common minor children, the spouses apply to the registry office with the necessary package of documents.

Second: through the magistrate’s court, if there is a minor child whose upbringing the parents have decided among themselves.

Third: in case of disagreement about a common child, the spouses go to a court of general jurisdiction, which will decide with whom the child will live and what role the second parent will play in relation to him.

The court decision comes into force after 10 days, during which one of the former spouses can challenge it. If this does not happen, then the marriage is dissolved (a corresponding certificate is issued) and the marital relationship is terminated.

Division of jointly acquired property

A marriage contract that would regulate this issue is not common in our country, therefore family law disputes regarding the division of property are resolved in accordance with the Civil and Family Codes of the Russian Federation. Cases are reviewed by a magistrate (regardless of the amount of the claim). The amount of the state fee that the spouses must pay to consider their case depends on the amount of the claim. Resolving family disputes regarding property can result in a protracted process of several months, so when submitting documents, spouses need to argue why the property between them should be divided in this way.

Annulment of marriage

The marriage is invalid if:

The marriage was concluded under pressure or coercion on the part of one of the spouses, with evidence that one spouse is not able to account for his actions and decisions.

The marriage is fictitious.

Marriage violates the terms of the law on marriageable age (marriage age is more than 18 years or marriage from 16 years of age with the written consent of the parents, in the case of pregnancy, emancipation).

In case of non-dissolution of a previous marriage by one of the spouses.

Close blood relationship between spouses.

Marriage between an adoptee and a parent/guardian.

Incapacity of one (or both) spouse (for example, due to a mental disorder).

At the time of marriage, one of the spouses was HIV-positive or had a sexually transmitted disease, which he did not tell the second spouse.

The second group, which is included in judicial family disputes, is formed from the parent-child relationship.

Collection of alimony

The most common dispute in this group is the collection of alimony. Alimony is collected from parents for the maintenance of a minor child and from an adult able-bodied child for the maintenance of disabled parents. The amount of alimony is established by the court by allocating part of the payer’s income to pay it. This type of legal proceedings does not exist, but alimony can be recovered for the past period for no more than three years.

Deprivation of parental rights

The most difficult legal dispute (in terms of evidence and emotional background) is deprivation of parental rights. Grounds under the Family Code of the Russian Federation, according to which a parent can lose rights to a child:

The parent does not fulfill his duties regarding his child as provided for by the Constitution of the Russian Federation and the Family Code of the Russian Federation.

Methodical failure to pay child support.

Cruel parenting and treatment of children.

Chronic alcoholism.

Leaving a child in danger (including leaving him in a maternity hospital or any child care institution).

Intentional crime against a spouse or child (threat to life and health).

Restoration of parental rights

A reverse and no less complicated procedure is restoration of parental rights. A parent who was once deprived of rights to a child has corrected himself and changed his life for the better; now he is free to file a claim for the return of parental rights to his child. The application is considered by the court, the guardianship and trusteeship authorities and the prosecutor. It is impossible to restore when a child is adopted, but the adoptive parents did not abandon him.

Establishing paternity

Paternity is established in court. The claim is filed by any of the child’s parents, his guardian or trustee. If the child is an adult, then this procedure can only be carried out with his consent.

When a spouse doubts his paternity (or knows for sure that the child is not his), he files a lawsuit to challenge paternity in order to avoid paying child support for someone else’s child in the event of a divorce.

Another situation is a broken “civil marriage” when the child’s parents are not married. The mother must provide the court with evidence of paternity and the results of a genetic examination in order to oblige the man to pay child support.

Restriction of parental rights

If parents pose a danger to their child (for example, they have a serious chronic illness, are mentally unstable, etc.), the guardianship and trusteeship authorities are obliged to file a claim in court, where a decision will be made to limit parental rights or remove the child from the parents. If the situation remains unchanged, six months later the guardianship authorities file a lawsuit for complete deprivation of parental rights.

In the category of “disputes in family matters,” a common phenomenon is when, after a divorce and leaving a child with one of the parents, the former spouses cannot agree on what kind of participation in the child’s upbringing the parent who does not live with him on a permanent basis will take. In this case, the court considers the case and makes a decision, which indicates how and in what order the second parent communicates with the child.

Adoption

The following court case excludes the type of “family relations dispute” because it is not a pure dispute. Issues regarding adoption are resolved by the court in the order to which the adoptive parents attach a package of documents. Based on them, the court makes a decision to refuse or approve the adoption.

• Cases regarding permission/prohibition for his grandparents to communicate with the child.

• Cases regarding the collection of alimony from grandparents, grandchildren, brothers/sisters, etc.

These legal proceedings are not particularly popular and, as a rule, successful, therefore they are rare in judicial practice.

All family problems described above require intervention and supervision from professionals. Therefore, when going to court, first of all, find a qualified lawyer who will help you correctly prepare and submit all documents.

Family disputes are not the only solution

Of course, ideally, it is best to resolve conflicts that arise in the family peacefully, without breaking up a full-fledged unit of society. Divorce due to family disputes rarely goes smoothly, because both spouses have claims against each other regarding children and property, which makes the process much more difficult. It makes it difficult not only legally, but also emotionally: the common children and the spouses themselves suffer and are nervous.

Even in the case of divorce, division of property, etc., try to be more tolerant, no matter how unpleasant and unwanted this process may be. Then, perhaps, family disputes will be forgotten, and the family will survive. If reconciliation is absolutely impossible, be calm, don’t be nervous about lost time. Maybe divorce is the path to a new, better life?

Maria Romantsova

The topic of family conflicts is addressed by Maria Romantsova, a family psychologist and gestalt therapist.

Conflicts in the family arise for a variety of reasons - from small everyday trifles to serious disagreements. And their manifestations are also very different - from loud screams to long silence.

Conflicts are an integral part of our lives. If they exist, it means that people are not indifferent to each other, and relationships are developing. To understand how to properly resolve conflicts, you need to know what their causes are and how they develop.

Conflict always has a reason

Every conflict situation has a meaning and a reason for its occurrence. It is this information that is important to understand and resolve.

As a rule, conflicts arise due to someone's unmet need.

It doesn’t matter what the need is - emotional, physiological, personal. It is important that an unsatisfied need causes great tension, and satisfaction cannot be experienced. No person can live in tension for long - so he begins to look for a way out.

Example from practice. An 8-year-old child had severe food allergies, so the parents tried to strictly control their diet and buy only suitable foods. One day, a mother and child went to the store.

While the woman was walking around choosing what to buy for lunch, the child ran to the shelves at the cash register, grabbed a chocolate egg and ate it.

A security guard noticed him and called the store administrator. Over the speakerphone, my mother was invited to the administrator’s office and forced to write an explanatory note. The situation seemed absurd and shameful to the woman, as if they were having educational conversations with her son about taking someone else’s property. Leaving the store, she strongly scolded the boy. The mother tried to convey her experience to the child, but did not achieve any results. The next time he stole the egg again, only he put it in his jacket pocket unnoticed; my mother only discovered the candy wrapper.

This situation clearly illustrates the child’s need. Every child wants joy, regardless of the conditions, but here at school everyone brings chocolates for his birthday, buys buns with chocolate in the buffet, but he is not allowed. How can you endure all this and not be tormented by the desire to eat something tasty, but forbidden?

But how can you satisfy the child’s needs so that he is happy and the parents are calm?

Even adults who are on strict diets experience strong temptations, but what can we say about children who do not have a high level of self-control.

There are always opposing sides to a conflict

Opposite parties are participants in the conflict: mother, father, grandmother, grandfather, children, and the like. Each side has its own needs and its own view of the situation.

Insufficient information for decision making is another cause of conflict.

After all, differences in views are often not discussed until they arise in a conflict situation. The omission of important information often does not occur on purpose. It is simply impossible to always tell everyone about everything or be interested in everyone.

Excessive frankness can also cause conflicts.

In our example, the child’s needs were strongly suppressed; no replacement was offered, only a ban was imposed.

How does the conflict proceed?

Another characteristic of conflict is the suddenness of its occurrence. A carelessly spoken word, inappropriate intonation, for example, early in the morning or late in the evening, and off we go...

If a conflict has flared up, then people most often think about how to defend their rightness, position, self-esteem, so the entire arsenal of defensive behavior is used.

The unproductive development of the conflict leads the situation to a sad ending - everyone is offended by everyone, and the problem is not solved.

Example from practice. Let's turn again to the family with a child with food allergies, which we talked about above. The mother complained to her husband about her son’s behavior; the spouses’ conversation was overheard by the grandmother, who immediately added fuel to the fire and accused the parents of negligence, coming to the child’s defense. The daughter-in-law felt insulted and began to actively attack her mother-in-law in response, pointing out to her the shortcomings in raising her son. The husband, hearing that his wife was unhappy with him, simply left the room with his son and broke off any contact with his wife for two weeks. The situation has reached a dead end. Everyone was offended, upset and the problem was not resolved.

The conflict process has its own stages, which vary from situation to situation:

The first stage is the emergence of a problem and tension: you want sweets, but you can’t - tension, release - stealing and eating sweets right there at the cash register.

The second stage is the collision and escalation of the conflict: the mother scolded the child, complained to her husband, the mother-in-law “joined” the problem. It is clear from the situation that the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law were already in a tense relationship before the incident in the store, and the reason for the “attack” was a conversation between the spouses. Sometimes conflicts tend to “layer” on top of each other and intensify. However, in this example, the complex relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is of secondary importance - after all, the child needs attention and first of all it is necessary to solve his problem.

The third stage is the result: Everyone is offended and divided.

Result of the conflict

If in the process of sorting out the relationship the cause of the conflict is missed, then its result is unlikely to be predictable.

It is precisely because of the depressing consequences of conflicts that people begin to think that conflicts and quarrels are an inevitable and pointless evil. As a result, the mother came to a psychologist because she was afraid that constant conflicts in the family would finally reinforce the child’s unwanted behavior.

How to get out of conflict

You need to identify the primary reason and start from there. And sweep away all the minor details.

In the example we are looking at, the solution to the problem may be to find a way to satisfy a child's need.

If you only punish a child for an offense, but do not come up with compensation, then very soon the parents will get the opposite effect.

The child will only do what to break the prohibitions, because he has already been punished - everyone can eat chocolate, but he can’t. Where's the justice? It's not his fault that he has allergies.

The most difficult thing: you can’t give in to provocations. Many people react extremely emotionally to difficulties and look for someone to blame, even if there is none.

In our example, the parents could not even think that a smart and obedient boy was capable of reacting like that - stealing twice, and the grandmother was already quick to blame everyone for this.

At this point, one could act in different ways. For example, parents could tell the grandmother that no one could have predicted such behavior from the child and they are very glad that the grandmother loves her grandson so much and is worried about him. Therefore, they will definitely solve the problem in the most dignified way: they will correct the behavior and find a way to console the child.

With the help of lawyers from the Regional Center for Legal Security, a client can resolve any family disputes that he has in disagreement with his relatives. Family disputes are complex services associated most often with a large amount of emotion among the parties to the conflict, since all these disputes turn into the personalities of its participants.

Our clients who have already encountered these problems will prove that it is best to entrust the resolution of family disputes to a third party. Of course, it would be right to entrust a professional and experienced lawyer who will carry out all the procedures necessary to resolve a family dispute.

Whatever these or other disputes are, they can be divided into several varieties:

Family disputes between spouses who are at the stage of a dispute in marriage;

Disputes that have arisen in the family between children and parents;

Other family disputes that have arisen between relatives.

When analyzing family disputes from their practice, lawyers of the Regional Center for Legal Security divide them into several parts, the first group includes:

Division of property of spouses during divorce;

A decision on the invalidity of a particular marriage;

The second group of family disputes involving children:

Payment of alimony;

Deprivation of parental rights;

Establishing paternity;

Restoring rights to a child;

Establishing a procedure for communicating with the child;

Adoption of children.

The third group includes more rare family disputes, but still occurring in the field of law and family relations:

Establishing boundaries for communication between grandparents and their grandchildren;

Payment of alimony from secondary family members, namely grandparents, brothers and sisters, stepsons and stepdaughters, etc.

Family dispute resolution is divided according to the nature of the dispute and the size of the disputed issue. In cases where the size of the family dispute does not exceed 50,000 rubles. Magistrates' courts also decide on the assignment of alimony payments. The remaining issues are considered by district (city) courts.

Let's consider one of the family disputes - divorce of spouses.

Divorce by a spouse is possible both pre-trial and in court. If the spouses do not have children under the age of 18 and there is no dispute between the spouses regarding the division of property, then the divorce can be filed at the registry office by filling out an application form. Provided that the spouses have minor children, divorce is possible only in court. When, during a judicial divorce, the spouses do not have a dispute about the order of communication with children and close relatives do not have additional requirements for communication with the child or children, then the court considers such disputes quite quickly. In a divorce in which there is a dispute over communication with children or the division of property and when there is no agreement between the spouses, the lawyers of the Regional Center for Legal Security advise contacting a specialist.

Our lawyers will help their clients in the following areas:

1. Prepare a correct objection to a statement of claim for divorce, division of property;
2. Build a judicial defense with the preparation of evidence of certain circumstances.

Although the Family Code of the Russian Federation fully regulates family disputes, we do not recommend delaying contacting a professional lawyer. Modern relationships between spouses are increasingly being additionally regulated by marriage contracts, which makes it difficult to quickly resolve the issue.

During a divorce in court, your position is very important, since the judge will not deal with your problems if you yourself do not care, and even more so if you do not have a representative. Lawyers at the Regional Center for Legal Security still advise drawing up marriage contracts because it provides peace of mind for future spouses and in the event of controversial situations arising during a divorce. So it happens in life that spouses change their views, priorities, new hobbies, and also a lot changes when children are born.

When filing a divorce in court and assigning alimony, you should remember that alimony can be either a percentage of the income level of the alimony from 25% to 70%, depending on the number of children, or in a fixed amount. For example, if the party to whom alimony is assigned does not officially work.

Quite often, completing the adoption procedure involves preparing a lot of documents and the best option is to contact a lawyer.

The lawyer of the Regional Center for Legal Security will carry out the following work:

will check the list of submitted documents;

will search for a child, test your own determination to adopt.

Prepares them for transfer to the guardianship authorities;

Will prepare an application to the court;

Will take the decision from the court and submit it to the registry office;

will receive a certificate of adoption;

will collect other necessary documents.

And this is not surprising, because it is in the family that the closest contacts between people occur. And at the same time, each of the family members wants to live in accordance with their ideas and views, and it is not always possible to correlate them with the habits and beliefs of other family members. Family conflicts occur on this basis. From time to time, spouses, parents and children, or people of the middle and older generation find themselves on opposite sides of the “barricade.”

Conflict can occur not only when family members have different views and beliefs. Sometimes confrontation occurs when people cannot understand each other and because of this they come to the wrong conclusion. This gives rise to claims and grievances, and the problem cannot always be resolved peacefully. What else can cause a tense situation leading to a quarrel?

Common Causes of Family Conflicts

Leo Tolstoy wisely noted that “... every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.” Each of us could give examples of this. This is about unhappiness. It’s the same with conflicts - their reasons in different families can be completely different. Even the very passage of a marriage through different stages of its existence can create conflict situations. What types of stages of family development can be called crisis?

• The “grinding in” period, when the newlyweds learn to live like a married couple;
• The birth of the first child and mastering the role of mom and dad;
• Birth of subsequent children;
• When the child goes to school;
• Children enter adolescence;
• Children growing up and leaving the parental home;
• Midlife crisis of spouses;
• Retirement of spouses

Each of these stages can create various stressful situations, which, in turn, can serve as a potential cause of family conflict.

Changes in marital status and family affairs can also contribute to tension. It could be:

• Divorce or separation of spouses;
• Moving to a new place of residence;
• Business trips over long distances and for a long time;
• The need to work in another state;
• Change in family financial situation

So it turns out that family conflicts and their causes can be completely different. Each family member's attitudes, values, and needs may change over time, and they may feel incompatible with the others.

Types of confrontations within the family

Psychologists identify different types of family conflicts:

• Actually conflicts. Even in a happy and healthy, normally functioning family, arguments will occur from time to time. Confrontations can be caused by inconsistencies in the views and goals of different family members. Conflicts can be resolved, and then they do not threaten the stability of family ties. Contradictions in the family can arise at all levels, that is, brothers and sisters, spouses, as well as parents and children can quarrel among themselves.
• Tensions b. Psychologists refer to long-standing, unresolved conflicts as tension. They can be obvious and open, but they can also be simply temporarily suppressed. In any case, they accumulate and cause negative emotions, leading to constant irritability, aggressiveness and hostility, which ultimately causes a loss of contact between family members.
• A crisis. We can talk about it when the conflict and tension have reached a stage in which all previously operating models of negotiations begin to fail, and, consequently, the real needs of individuals or an entire group of household members remain chronically unsatisfied. Crises often lead to family disorganization, that is, certain obligations of spouses to each other or the responsibilities of parents in relation to children are no longer fulfilled properly. And family disorganization, in turn, often ends in its disintegration.

These are the main types of conflicts. What can cause them? What rough edges in relationships between close people can lead to disaster?

Searching for “faults” in family relationships

Family conflicts and their causes are always closely related. We are ready to give, although not a complete, detailed list of those shortcomings in intra-family ties that can significantly affect both the quality of relationships and the further psychological well-being of the family. Here are some examples:

• Inability to express your feelings. In families with an unhealthy psychological climate, its members tend to hide their feelings and reject their expressions by other people. They do this mainly to avoid mental pain and psychological trauma.
• Lack of communication. In dysfunctional families, open communication between relatives is very rare. If family conflicts arise, family members begin to avoid each other, withdrawing emotionally and withdrawing into themselves.
• Manifestations of anger. If any problems arise, an unhealthy family tries to hide them, instead of facing them head on and trying to solve them. In such a family, there are often disputes about who is responsible for the occurrence of a particular problem, and such disputes most often lead to outbursts of anger and even the use of force. Such relationships cause complete chaos and cause the parties to the conflict to become deaf to other people's feelings. Preventing and resolving family conflicts at this stage of relationships becomes very difficult.
• Fuzzy boundaries of “personal territory”. In dysfunctional families, relationships are unstable and chaotic. Some family members suppress others by not respecting their individuality. Such a violation of personal boundaries can lead not only to conflict, but also to actions that can be classified as “family violence.”
• Manipulation. Manipulators express their anger and frustration in the only way they can: they try to put pressure on others to make them feel guilty and ashamed. In this way, they try to get others to do what the manipulators themselves want.
• Negative attitude towards life and towards each other. In some families, everyone treats others with some suspicion and mistrust. They don't know what optimism is, and they usually have no sense of humor at all. Relatives have very few common interests and rarely find a common topic of conversation.
• Stubborn relationships. It also happens that family members understand that something is going wrong, but they do not have the courage to try to change something and start acting in a new way. This creates great difficulties in relationships; household members cannot feel free to develop as individuals. They prefer to live in the past because they cannot cope with negative changes in the present.
• Social isolation. For the most part, members of a psychologically unhealthy family are lonely. They are isolated from each other, and all their relationships develop (if they have not already lost the ability to develop interpersonal relationships) outside the family. Most often, children growing up in families with unhealthy relationships suffer from such isolation. Sometimes antisocial behavior becomes characteristic of them, which ultimately leads to even greater personal isolation - in such a situation there are not even friends left.
• Stress and psychosomatic diseases. Unexpressed emotions can negatively affect health and cause psychosomatic illnesses. Such a person gradually loses energy and can no longer take care of his family as before. As a rule, he himself does not even realize that he is unwell; It’s not surprising that his loved ones don’t understand this either. They perceive his apathy as indifference to the problems of the family, and this serves as an impetus for conflicts. But the real definition of these conflicts is a simple misunderstanding!

If you find in your relationship at least one of the mentioned signs of impending trouble, then there is no need to rush into panic; but it’s very worth drawing serious conclusions and trying to improve the relationship! Preventing and resolving family conflicts largely depends on your desire to find a common language with your loved ones.

Although, in fairness, it must be said that desire alone is still not enough. You also need to know exactly how you can resolve conflict and establish healthy relationships. This is what we will talk about now, taking into account different types of conflicts.

How relationships can develop

As we have already said, family conflicts between generations are possible when there is misunderstanding between different age groups and/or lack of respect, usually among the younger ones towards the older ones. It can be difficult for younger generations to understand that their elders were also young, that they have contributed to society, and that although they have become less active due to their age, they are still smart and have a wealth of experience that can be useful to others.

Older generations may find it difficult to accept the behavior of some young people. They see that young people now have more opportunities than they once had, and that the younger generation does not have the hardships that they once endured. Older people cannot understand that young people today are faced with various problems associated with the peculiarities of modern society, and cannot recognize that these problems are also very difficult in their own way.

But there are examples of generational conflicts that occur on other grounds. Some may find it frustrating to have to care for a sick elderly relative. They may love this person very much, but they have to constantly make some sacrifices in their lives in order to fulfill this care. In addition, the older relative himself may feel guilty and will consider himself a burden to his family. This can lead to depression and be an additional source of complications in relationships.

Aging often brings with it discrimination or prejudice against people of a certain age, and this is a major cause of conflict between generations.

Young grandparents

Here’s another example: children of young parents grow up, create their own families, and have grandchildren. The birth of their first grandchildren usually takes many middle-aged people by surprise. They are not yet ready for a new role, because they live their own, full and active lives, and are still full of ambitions. And daughters or sons, having created families and given birth to a child, suddenly realize that at the wrong time they found themselves shackled hand and foot. They still need to study, they need to work, and youth takes its toll - they want to continue communicating with friends, go to the cinema, go dancing, go on an excursion...

And conflicts begin. Young people do not understand that the entire responsibility for raising a child lies only with them; it is difficult for them to be locked within four walls. They also don’t understand that grandparents are also full of energy, they have some plans of their own, and almost all “ancestors” are still working at this age.

Another example is the exact opposite of the first. The grandmother reaches out to her grandchildren, but her daughter-in-law does not let her bother with them. All the mother-in-law's advice is rejected because the daughter-in-law does not agree with it. And this applies not only to children. Habits and rules in different families may differ even in small things, not to mention more important issues. But conflicts often begin with little things... Here’s another example: the mother-in-law always served her son a buttered bun for breakfast. And the young daughter-in-law, most likely, advocates healthy eating, and therefore switched her husband to yoghurts. The mother-in-law will worry that her son remains hungry, and the daughter-in-law will be nervous that her mother-in-law is spoiling her husband’s health. Discontent will accumulate, and one day it will develop into conflict.

How to solve these problems?

The coexistence of generations does not have any fixed rules, but a solution to the problem can still be found.

The most important thing on which the prevention and resolution of family conflicts between people of different ages is based is the ability and desire to find out different points of view, experience the situation taking into account the interests of both parties.

How can we understand each other better if we are so different? How can we make others more sensitive to the situation? And how can we help people expand their ideas about youth and old age?

It all depends on the specific situation and the specific family. Here are the main “tools” with which you can correct a difficult situation:

• Problem identification;
• Explaining the reasons for the position taken and showing empathy;
• Taking measures to eliminate the conflict;
• Changing the attitude towards such a situation: understanding the position of the opposing side eliminates possible conflicts in the future. Understanding is the best prevention of conflicts.

Children and conflict

The above examples, of course, do not exhaust all possible variants of conflicts between generations. Growing children also often become a source of conflict. The transitional age alone - even in quite prosperous families - brings with it so many problems! True, we will not consider the prevention of conflicts between parents and teenagers now; this is a separate topic. But we cannot say that any quarrel between parents has a strong adverse effect on the child.

Even if the child is very small and does not yet understand anything that adults say, he begins to cry almost immediately after the parents begin to quarrel.

Children perceive elevated levels of parental conversation as a threat to their well-being.

Older children also perceive parental conflicts very painfully. What if the children themselves become the culprits of the conflict? If they have done something wrong, do they have to be scolded and punished?

Of course, life is life, conflict can arise at any moment, and it is not always possible to protect our children from the negative effects of stress. And here the prevention of nervous diseases in children comes first. How, you ask? We must learn to quarrel competently. And children must also be scolded competently.

This means that parents should not resort to humiliation and ridicule, and should never use profanity or physical violence, even if it is only a slap or a slap on the head. This also means that rational arguments should be used during conflict. Parents should never forget that children learn from them every minute how to behave and communicate with other people, so even in the moment of greatest anger you should not set a bad example for them.

In addition, after a quarrel with your offspring, you must find an opportunity to reconcile with him, and you must express your love for the child. Your child should feel that everything is fine, the crisis has passed, and he is still dear to you.

Resolving family conflicts

Prevention, prevention and resolution of family conflicts depends on your attitude towards them. First of all, learn how to act correctly during a quarrel:

• Define the problem. Discuss it clearly and calmly with your household, paying attention to your tone and the words you choose to express your feelings;
• Discuss the identified problem;
• If the discussion becomes heated and begins to escalate into an argument, take a break so that everyone can cool down and return to a calm discussion;
• Come up with a solution to the problem and collectively agree on it;
• Put your decision into practice. You must act on the decision in order for the conflict to truly end.

Today, for some reason, family is not a priority. Business, success and money have become the number one goal for many. But we must pay attention to the most important thing in our lives - our family and friends. Everything else can wait. Only then will family conflict become a very rare “guest” in your home.