The child throws and breaks everything. Why do children break toys? consultation (group) on the topic. What to do with children who spoil toys

Young children often break or spoil things. Mostly this happens by accident. But sometimes parents are faced with a situation where a child deliberately and deliberately spoils good things. In this article we will look at what to do with children who constantly break toys. Let's start by looking at the reasons for this behavior.

Why does a child break toys?

Toys are not age appropriate. It’s too early for a baby to play with some objects, and he simply doesn’t understand what to do with them. Refrain from such purchases and buy toys according to age. What gifts can be given to a child, see;
The toy did not live up to the desire. If a child wanted and asked for one thing, but they bought him another, he can break the product out of resentment, annoyance or anger, out of harm or revenge. By breaking or smashing a toy, he shows an attitude towards the gift and tries to insist on his own;
A child may be aggressive by nature and temperament. In addition, choleric children are active on their own. They are restless, easily distracted and irritated. If you squeezed a toy tightly, accidentally dropped it or stepped on it, and it broke;
Because of curiosity and curiosity. It’s not surprising that kids want to explore and try everything, to find out what’s inside this or that object. Therefore, they disassemble, untwist and break not only toys, but also surrounding things. Most often, it is no longer possible to put the product back together;
The desire to attract the attention of parents. Perhaps the baby lacks the attention and care of mom or dad. In this case, the matter is not limited to breaking toys. Children begin to be capricious and behave badly, constantly playing around, including breaking toys;
Irritability. If there is an unhealthy atmosphere in the family, and parents are regularly in an irritated, angry or negative state, the mood spreads to the children. Moreover, this applies not only to young children, but also to schoolchildren and teenagers. They follow the example of adults when they shout, swear and raise their voices, hit the table with their fists or even fight;
Excessive care and attention can also lead to negative consequences. When parents are too pushy and diligent in teaching children how to play and handle toys, it becomes boring and annoying. Try to be softer and not so intrusive.
The baby is just playing. Many children, especially boys, love war games, superheroes, and so on. The result of such fun is scattered things, terrible chaos and broken toys. For such games, it is better to purchase separate special toys, such as swords, children's weapons, etc.;
The baby is sick, tired or unwell. In such cases he becomes irritable, weak, awkward and impatient;
Children often break toys to spite their parents when they didn’t buy him what he wanted or scolded him for his misconduct. In addition, it could be a trick to buy a toy like another child.

How to stop a child from breaking toys

It is not enough to understand why a child breaks toys. It is important to wean him from such actions and explain why he should not spoil things. We offer recommendations in this regard. First of all, talk to your baby. Do this calmly, do not shout, and find out the reason for this behavior.

If your child tries to tear off body parts from toys, explain that the doll or animal is in pain. That there are special things for such games. These are construction sets, mosaics and objects that need to be assembled or disassembled. To do this, be sure to purchase such toys, especially if the baby likes to break and take things apart, look and find out what is inside the objects, and study the contents of the products.

Invite your child to take a walk, read, draw, or work out together. This is a suitable option if parents are regularly busy and pay little attention to the baby. But in other cases, children will be happy to go for a walk with mom and dad, rather than sit and play alone. Diversify your child’s leisure time and try to spend more time together.

If a child has just broken a toy, do not shout, scold or punish the baby. Do not rush to pick up broken or scattered items. Let the baby play and explore the world around him further. Watch the baby, give hints and advice, participate in games together, but do not insist or intrusively teach what and when to play.

If you bought the wrong toy that the baby wanted, calmly explain that you gave the item from the bottom of your heart and are sincerely worried that the baby is upset and disappointed. But don’t rush to immediately buy a new toy to replace the broken one. Leave the broken toy in plain sight so he can see how bad it is.

Explain to your child that other children also receive gifts. A child may deliberately spoil a toy that you have prepared for others, so it is better to hide it and not show such a thing to your own child. Such situations cause resentment and jealousy.

Teach your little one to order. Explain that broken and scattered things must be removed yourself. How to do this, the tips from the article “How to teach a child to clean up his toys” will tell you how to do this.

How to deal with aggression and irritation

Be gentle. Don't yell or get angry at your child. Try to maintain a kind and friendly atmosphere in the family. Then there will be no place for aggression to come from. Don't let your child's aggressive behavior go away. The older he gets, the harder it is to deal with. In some cases, only a psychologist can help.

By the way, an unhealthy situation can also occur in kindergarten. If teachers constantly yell and swear, or other children bully your child, he may become irritated and react aggressively to what is happening. Be sure to check the living conditions for children in kindergarten.

For those who are too active and restless, create conditions so that the baby can get rid of accumulated emotions. These are sports equipment and special soft blocks, climbing frames, benches, slides and fortresses. Offer a variety of activities and fill the day with active activities, such as sports, dance, or something similar.

Pay attention to what your child likes. If he is active and restless, does not know where to put his energy, there is no need to give him to calm or passive drawing or embroidery. Let him better throw out the accumulated energy and irritability in the gym.

Create a special play corner at home. Soft blocks are suitable for kids, and dartboards are suitable for older children. This develops accuracy and coordination, relieves irritability and stress. Children become calmer and softer. In addition, it is convenient to set up a creativity corner in such a place; you can also store numerous toys here. Where to put and where to store children's toys, see the link /.

- this is not yet a reason to label him an aggressive and destructive child. And this behavior is not always explained by the fact that the baby wants to annoy his parents.

As child psychologists say, if a child breaks toys, he does not do it because he is too spoiled and does not know how to appreciate things. As a rule, the baby feels like a researcher who is trying to understand how this or that object works. But this is not the only reason why a child breaks toys. Let's find out what can actually be hidden behind a child's “bad” behavior.

Why does a child break toys?

Curiosity. As already said, the baby is constantly in the process of learning. Therefore, it is not surprising that a child has a desire to study how the mechanism of a radio-controlled helicopter or a talking doll works. He tries to break or disassemble them in order to understand how the “inner world” of toys works.

Lack of parental attention. Modern mothers and fathers often spend time at work, earning money, but at the same time saving on the time that they could devote to their child. Feeling guilty, many parents “buy off” their child with expensive gifts. However, even the most beautiful and sophisticated toys cannot replace parental attention for a child. And by trying to destroy the toy, the child, with his bad behavior, at least somehow wins the attention of family members.

The game process itself. A child who plays story games can identify with the characters. During the game, he wants to “kill” an evil wizard, dragon or wolf, and this can only be done by destroying the toy. The child breaks toys, following examples from films and computer games in which some characters kill others.

The need to vent aggression. Children, like adults, can feel angry and resentful, and often children break toys to give vent to accumulated negative emotions. Often parents cannot cope with their feelings, so they begin to raise their voices at the baby. In the same way, adopting the habits of adults, kids break toys, tear off their parts and even shout at them.

What to do if a child breaks toys

As you can see, often a child does not break toys intentionally; he, like his parents, is upset by what happened. There is no need to scold the baby in this case. It is recommended to purchase toys taking into account the baby’s temperament - it is better to buy a high-quality toy than many fragile and unreliable ones.
It can be difficult for parents to teach a six-year-old child how to take care of things, but mom and dad can try to minimize the occurrence of toy destruction. For example, you can buy a toy , which the baby will enjoy taking care of, and more than one. After all, from the age of four, a child is familiar with the feelings of love and care.
To ensure that nothing interferes with the study of the surrounding world, it is advisable to provide the baby with sufficient field for experiments, while removing all fragile and valuable objects away.
You can offer little researchers to disassemble an unnecessary watch or an old camera under your supervision. In addition, direct your child’s curiosity and craving for various types of mechanisms to assembling and disassembling the construction set. Even for very small children, 2-3 years old, the store will offer bright and safe children's toys with large parts.

Don't panic if your child hits and breaks toys - most babies go through this period. You need to be patient and not scold him, otherwise you, on the contrary, will turn the child against you. It’s better to direct the baby’s strength and attention in a different direction.

Parents buy their child more and more new toys, trying to make his leisure time more interesting, but instead of playing enthusiastically, he tears off the heads of dolls, throws cars on the floor or opens the belly of a teddy bear? This situation is not that rare. However, this fact is unlikely to console parents, because they, first of all, want to know why this happens.

Of course, your child may accidentally mess something up sometimes. But what if he begins to deliberately destroy good things, with which, in principle, he should relax and have fun? What to do, how to stop your beloved child? Should he be punished? In this article, we will look at the reasons why a child may begin to spoil things, and we will find out how adults should behave in such situations. And everything will be fine!

Reasons why children may break their toys

*The child breaks toys that are inappropriate for his age

Often, a child breaks toys because it is simply too early for him to use them. Parents want to please their beloved baby and buy him exactly what he asks for. As a result, it turns out that the toy is simply not suitable for the baby. He is too young to understand that this item must be handled with care.

Let's give a simple example: the baby is only four years old. But he insists on buying a beautiful car with opening doors, a lifting body, and turning wheels. Soon the parents agree. They buy a rather expensive item. But already on the same day the machine turns out to be disassembled.

Likely reaction: punishment. They will begin to explain to the child that he broke an expensive thing and is behaving badly. The approach is wrong!

What to do

Of course, the best solution is to refrain from such purchases altogether. Manufacturers indicate age restrictions taking into account the level of development of the child. If you give your 4-year-old child blocks, rubber toys, plastic pyramids and simple construction sets made from large parts, he won’t spoil anything.

Is it worth scolding if the toy is already broken? Of course, there is no need to blame your little family member. In general, try not to punish or scold your child again. If he has a tendency towards aggression, you will thus develop it in him. When a child is vulnerable and obedient, such punishments can make such a difficult impression on him that he will lose the joy of playing altogether. At the same time, it is really necessary to gently explain that things need to be handled more carefully.

Someone may have a question: is it possible to buy a toy that is not suitable for age if the baby really asks for it? There are two options here:

Toys that may pose a health hazard should definitely not be given to a child. This applies to products with small parts. To prevent a child from accidentally choking on them, they should not be in his access area at all.
When a toy is safe, but there is a high probability that the baby will break it, decide for yourself. If you want to please your beloved child, buy it. Just be prepared for a quick breakdown.

*The item did not live up to expectations

Children sometimes break toys on purpose. They get upset because they receive the wrong gift. Often the reaction can be predicted in advance. The kid asks for one toy in the store, and they buy him another. If you did this, be prepared: at home, your child will show his attitude towards the “gift” by breaking the thing. Thus, children are simply trying to insist on their own. Moreover, it seems to them: now they will buy them a new thing, because they are again left without a gift.

Correcting the situation

Such behavior cannot be called good. What to do?

Try to explain that you gave the toy from the bottom of your heart and are sincerely upset by the child’s reaction;
Don't buy a new thing after the previous one was broken! You shouldn't spoil a child. In this situation, it is better for him to do without new toys for a while;
A good way to influence a child is to leave the broken thing in sight. Let him see for himself that this is bad, ugly;
There is no need to scold. Explain everything calmly, without raising your voice);
In the future, when the time comes to go to the store with your baby again, you can do this: if you are unable to fulfill the child’s desire and buy exactly what he wants, do not buy another toy at all. Remind your child what he did with the thing he didn’t like before.

*Features of temperament

Now, unfortunately, aggression is typical for many children. Then toys break regularly, and all the reasons for “violent” behavior are hidden in the peculiarities of temperament. The little one is choleric - he is restless, easily distracted, easily irritated, and very active. These kids' toys break on their own. Squeezed tightly, dropped, accidentally stepped on, caught, etc.

What should I do?

It is clear that we cannot turn a blind eye to such a problem. If the manifestations are still at the initial stage, you can try to cope on your own.

There is no need to scold the child. Punishments will cause increased aggressiveness or withdrawal. Both reactions are very bad results;
Explain as clearly as possible, in a kind way, that it is not good to behave this way;
Create conditions for the release of accumulated emotions. An excellent solution is to provide your child with toys with which he can actively have fun. Rubber things and swords (not balls, but children's swords) will do. The boy can hang a pear;
Make sure that children can actively relax and expend energy. Give them to the sports section, dance club.

All this will definitely help you. As a last resort, you will have to contact a child psychologist or neurologist.

*Cognitive activity. Curiosity

Many children are ready to do absolutely anything when they have an irresistible desire to learn a new thing. They take apart, untwist, and break toys. These children just want to find out how objects work and what is inside them. Unfortunately, expensive things heighten curiosity even more. Therefore, they are in danger in the first place. Most often, kids then make attempts to collect the toys, but this is no longer possible.

What should I do?

There is an excellent solution: buy more construction sets and toys for your child that can be easily assembled and disassembled. Let your child watch educational cartoons and documentaries. Older children will benefit from reading encyclopedias. This way your baby will satisfy his curiosity.

*The baby wants to attract the attention of his parents

This situation is also widespread. The baby begins to regularly play pranks, breaks toys, behaves poorly at the table, is constantly capricious... And everything is aimed exclusively at one goal. Just think: Maybe your beloved child lacks parental attention? Some children suffer from excessive care, but others, on the contrary, lack care and joint games with their parents.

Our solution

First of all, you need to talk to the child. Ask him if he would like to go for a walk, read, or draw with you. Offer an interesting game. For example, you can set up an impromptu puppet theater with finger animals and dolls. Many children will be happy to go outside with their parents, run together, go down the slides, and throw snowballs. All this will strengthen the bond with the child and will have a positive impact on relationships in the family as a whole. Be one team, have fun and relax together!

*I just want to break everything...

Another common reason for this behavior is simple irritability. Kids, like adults, feel anger and resentment. Very often they break toys, throwing out accumulated negative emotions. It happens that children take an example from adults when they cannot cope with their anger and raise their voices, bang on the table with their fists, and throw things. So kids, adopting the habits of adults, can also behave inappropriately, smashing and breaking toys in the process of aggression.

What to do?

Arrange a special play area for your child, where he can break something and take it apart. For example, someone simply buys small balloons with darts for an older child. By training coordination and accuracy, boys and girls enjoy hitting targets. And then they become noticeably calmer and more balanced.

*Kid playing superhero

Is the nursery looking like a battlefield again? All things are scattered, some of the toys are broken, but your baby walks around happy, like a birthday boy? It is likely that your child simply imagines himself as a brave warrior and wants to imitate his favorite heroes. In such games you need to destroy a terrible dragon, an evil wizard, a wolf, a bad person. And for this they need to be “killed”. The kid breaks toys, getting carried away by the game and following the examples of movie and cartoon characters.

There is a solution!

You need to have a good talk with your beloved child, explain to him that there is no need to fight good things. This does not have the same meaning that there is in the battles of his favorite heroes. In addition, you need to organize a “battle” area in the nursery. There should be safe swords, various children's weapons and specially selected toys that will not suffer from such battles. For example, big soft, rubbery animals.

A few more common reasons

The kid is upset that he is being overprotected. Sometimes parents try too hard to teach their children how to use toys. And it irritates kids. Try to be soft, calm, and give some freedom to your child.
The child is sick and very tired. Malaise, as a rule, exhausts the baby’s psyche; he becomes impatient, irritable, and awkward. A sudden outburst of anger, a careless movement - and the toy shatters into pieces.
The child expresses anger. For example, a child is playing with a car, and he is unable to fit a small toy into it - he immediately associates the failure not with his personal abilities, but with the toy in his hands. In a fit of anger, the child throws the toy, it hits the floor with a bang and breaks. The baby does not yet understand that things can break, so he simply cannot think about any consequences of his actions.
The child wants to get another toy. Some kids are a little tricky. They first spoil things and then demonstrate their feelings in different ways. And they ask for another toy. Have you noticed that everything is happening according to this scenario? Then don't buy another thing. Leave a broken toy in the nursery. Let the child realize that he broke a good thing and was left without it.
A child breaks toys out of spite. Very often, destructive behavior and aggression on the part of a child towards toys actually hides a protest against the actions of adults. Mom did not allow me to take candy from the table or demanded that the toys be removed, but the baby does not want to do this. He gets angry and decides to somehow harm his parents, but does not find a better way than tearing up the books bought for him or gutting a soft toy. Thus, a baby who has not yet learned to manage his emotions expresses his resentment and anger.
The toy was bought for someone else. And the child spoiled it on purpose. There is only one way out. Try not to show your baby things that are intended as gifts for other children. This causes resentment and jealousy. Avoid such situations.

How to stop a child from breaking toys

At first, the main task of parents is not to interfere with the child’s exploration of the world around him, and, on the contrary, to help him in every possible way in this. You shouldn’t immediately pick up the things thrown on the floor behind him and put the toys you just threw off on the shelves. It’s better to just watch your baby’s actions and give him hints. If the baby cannot close the box because it is full, you need to show him that he needs to free up some space in it, and then the lid will easily fall into place. If the baby tries to tear off the doll’s head, you need to explain to him that this cannot be done, because it will hurt the doll, and instead offer the baby another toy that can be easily disassembled and reassembled.

If a child tries to use force on all the objects around him, it is worth providing him with toys that he will definitely like: special soft blocks from which you can build fortresses, high beds and caves, as well as jump on them, an inflatable ball, skittles, large constructors from which you can build towers and break them. You can teach your child to crumple up unnecessary sheets of paper and throw them into a ring specially hung for this purpose above the trash can. Invite your baby to try his hand at modeling using plasticine or polymer clay. You can play with your baby in cars with real accidents and collisions.

On the playground, the little destroyer will be able to use his power by sticking a large number of Easter cakes and trampling his works. In winter, you and your child can build a snowman and break it, and in the fall, rake a large pile of fallen leaves, and then stir it up.

The most important thing for parents is to be patient and wait, and so that the frustration due to a new wave of destruction is not so strong, it is worth removing valuable and fragile things from the child’s reach in advance. Gradually teach your child to understand the difference between toys and interior items that should not be touched, as well as your favorite things, which also should not be damaged under any circumstances. According to psychologists, a little destroyer will in any case turn into a creator as soon as the period of heightened curiosity is left behind.

Taken: http://www.ya-roditel.ru/parents/base/experts/373782/

Reasons for this behavior

Parents need to independently determine why their child is destroying his toys.

This is interesting. When the writer Frederic Beigbeder was asked about his vivid childhood memories, he replied: “I was tired of being considered a spoiled child and being reproached for breaking toys. I broke them to make new ones.”

If young children have already learned to walk, use a spoon, or use a potty, this does not mean that they clearly understand what things can be done and what things cannot be done.

Therefore, parents need to independently determine why the child destroys his toys. Psychologists and teachers have identified a number of reasons for this behavior of little destroyers:
This is how the child expresses his dissatisfaction. The fact is that small children, who have just begun to comprehend cause-and-effect relationships, think very specifically: if the doll does not fit into the car, then either the car or the doll flies away. The kid does not associate this difficulty with the fact that he made the wrong choice, and the objects do not match each other in size.
The child is trying to spite his parents. If, in response to a child’s request, he hears that the toys need to be removed first, then this causes him to be indignant and want to somehow annoy his parents. The easiest way is to do something the other way around. The child simply cannot cope with his emotions any other way.
The baby is just beginning to learn the hierarchy of relationships. He is completely dependent on his parents, and toys are on him. So the child wants to show his power over them the way his parents do over him. In this case, the more affectionately the parents treat the baby, the more careful the child is with dolls;
Children who are restless by nature often change activities, they are overly active, and are easily susceptible to irritation. And it turns out that toys break accidentally: grabbed too tightly, stepped on or dropped;
If a child is sick, then his psyche is depleted by illness and gives rise to sudden outbursts of anger. In this case, one careless movement and something falls, breaks or bends.

How to wean

The most important thing in a relationship with a child is patience.

The main task of parents is not to interfere with how the child experiences the world. This process can only be adjusted carefully. To do this, you should take the advice of child psychologists:

Explain everything gradually. If your child is nervous that the box won’t close, tell him that if you remove a couple of cars from there, the lid will close easily. If a child tries to tear off the doll's head, explain that the doll will be hurt, but the rubber construction set can be assembled and disassembled without any harm.
For those kids who use force with all their toys, rubberized blocks, skittles, and balls are perfect. All these objects can be thrown, pulled, and the tower from the designer can be broken and reassembled.
Allow your child to show his strength, for example, in the sandbox. Let the kid build a sand castle and destroy it himself. By the way, this instills respect for one’s work. In the fall, let the child collect yellowed leaves and stir them up. Every person needs such an outlet of negative energy.
Monitor your behavior. If parents are careless with their things, then the child will treat his own in the same way.
Don't try to immediately buy a new toy to replace a broken one. It is better to try to fix the old one together with the culprit of the breakdown. This will increase its value in the eyes of the child;
Learn to switch your baby's attention. Children quickly become involved in various types of activities, so it will not be difficult to distract them from destructive actions.
Be sure to hide from your baby items that are not safe for his health. And also fragile and expensive things.

The most important thing in a relationship with a child is patience. Don't expect instant results. It is better to surround your baby with as much care and attention as possible. Then he will be balanced and emotionally calm. And the ability to create for a little destroyer will definitely come with age.

Break, tear, shatter. If your baby trails a trail of leftovers and remnants of once interesting and exciting toys? And not only. What to do? The moment has come when the desire to sort things out grows intensely in your child. In this article we will try to figure out “why and why does a child break everything?” and “what should parents do if their child breaks everything?”

I would like to note right away that this period is completely normal and natural for all children. This is an immediate stage in your baby's development.

At about two years old, the baby begins his exploration. And with the help of “breaking” and “disassembling” the little man comprehends the big and interesting world. Everything that the eyes see and what the hands reach is explored. Knowledge about the world is expanding. The baby needs to completely disassemble a thing in order to understand it, and sometimes break it.

The kid doesn’t understand whether taking apart the TV remote control is good or bad. The little researcher does not understand that he is doing wrong, and therefore does not set restrictions for himself.

The task of the parent, mother and father, firstly, is to take care of the child’s safety, and secondly, to try to clearly explain that this cannot be done.

And yes, the most effective way to “save” something is to hide it! The new storage location should be inaccessible to the baby’s eyes and hands. It is important that the little explorer does not see the new object. Because all your efforts may be in vain.

Naturally, the day will soon come when it will no longer be enough to simply hide a thing. You will have to explain to your child why breaking things is not worth it. As I already noted, the baby does not see the difference between “good” and “bad,” but he understands your reaction to destruction.

At such a young age, praise or blame are important in the life of a little person. You should explain why you should not play with this or that thing.

For example, this thing is very dear to you, and it can be easily broken. But there is one “but”. If there is such a comment for every forbidden thing, then soon it will not have any effect on the child! And then the baby, out of spite, will passionately seek them.

You shouldn't use your influence like that often. When a child gives up something for you, it is a big step, a sacrifice that requires will. The more you prohibit, the more powerful the destroyer grows in your baby! That's why it's important to determine those things that will unquestioningly belong to the baby! He will do with them as he pleases.

Your baby should have a personal “place”, his own corner, room, anything, but his own. There should be no control or prohibitions from you. There the little researcher will begin his work. Thus, excess energy will still be released.

Remember, dear parents, creating and destroying are new actions for your baby. For example, you spent two hours building a house out of blocks, and then in an instant, your child destroyed everything with one movement of his hand. This is how the baby learns his strength.

If your little daughter wants to give a Barbie doll a new hairstyle, or cut a skirt out of her blouse, don’t scold the fashionista. This is normal cognitive interest!

And, interestingly, the toy is defined as an object of influence. You influence your children, what they wear, what they eat, etc. And your children also want to influence someone. So as not to feel weak and defenseless. And so, they choose dolls.

Don't worry, the torn and broken parts will fit perfectly into your children's future games (the main thing is that they are safe). Let your baby be a creator! In this “greenhouse” way, a little person learns to communicate with the world without taking any risks.